I get set apart soon, in 7 days. I am so very very very excited, I could not tell you how excited I am. 5 months of waiting has been a really hard thing for me to do, it has been torture. Once I get on that plane and take my first step on Brazilian soil, the joy I will feel and relief will be amazing. I feel so much pressure living in the world, knowing I should be doing missionary things but, I am not set apart yet. I see it as literally being set apart from the rest of the world, I will not be of it at all. I will be an ambassador for the Lord Jesus Christ and because of this, I will be separate from all things in this world. I am so excited to learn portuguese and speak it fluently. I am excited to change lives and experience what another country is like. I am excited for the tremendous amount of growth I will have. My return home is not guaranteed, for Brazil is dangerous. If I do return though, I will not be the same person, I will have transformed just like how a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. I can not wait, please time go by faster please please please
A series of vignettes from my life
Black name tag upon our chest
We are men, the Church’s best
Some may boast and some may brag
But only a few wear the black name tag
Twenty four months without a date-
But we are tough, we can wait
Our girls sit home-they’ll never brag-
Their brave young men wear the black name tag
On returning home, we resume life-
Start a search to find a wife
Such a life for the black name tag
You find a fox; she has a man
You find a chick; she has a plan
You find the one; but what a drag-
'cause now she's wearing
THE BLACK NAME TAG!
I am happy to leave, because everyone has left for the holidays just about and it is 15 degrees outside during the day, but Utah has really grown on me. When I first came here 3 (almost 4) years ago, I was a lonely depressed stoner who just wanted to bang some hot chicks. Then something changed, I saw how unhappy I was and how the habits I have made prevented me and really, limited the choices I could make. I could not serve a mission, I could not get married, I could not get a good education, I could not have a good relationship with my parents.. the list goes on. It took a lot of willpower and determination to sit down, read the book of mormon and bible, study them out and rid myself of the habits in my life that prevented me from receiving the light and knowledge I so desperately craved. It’s taken me a long time to get my crap together, but I am glad I was able to crawl out of that abyss I was in. I did not do it by myself, the Lord was there every step of the way to console me when I felt like a failure, when I felt dirty and stained, when I felt hopeless. I am now leaving Utah a worthy priesthood holder, worthy of the temple, worthy of serving a mission, more spiritually attuned, more mature and intelligent, and I have gotten pretty good at skating as a bonus. I love Utah, sometimes the weather is crappy but, when it is good weather it is totally worth it. 2 year in Brazil, psshhh easy. I see going on a mission as a privilege rather than a responsibility, even though it is a priesthood responsibility. Its kinda like checking out of reality, meaning all I have to worry about is serving my fellowman and seeking those to hear the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful I get to serve the Lord, there is only one other thing that could bring greater joy in this life, which is getting married and having children. I can not wait to leave Provo, as much as I love it, because it will be the epilogue to the next chapter in my life as I further prepare myself and wait in california to leave. I said in a later post I lost my wallet, along with my temple recommend, I got it renewed today and I can not wait to go back to the temple. The temple is so peaceful and wonderful, the world outside is lone and dreary. The temple is addicting, once you go there and feel the spirit of peace and love within its walls, you wish you could always have that feeling with you as strong as it is there. I am so grateful for temples, because I know what is done within its walls are eternally important and there is nothing more important than the sacred ordinances that take place within its walls. Those ordinances are so important because, it allows people to receive eternal life and exaltation and allows families to be together forever.
The choices you make do not only determine your own personal happiness and welfare in this life, but it also influences the happiness and welfare of your posterity. I know my ancestors and my posterity to come are rejoicing and celebrating the fact I have come and grown this far and I am worthily serving a mission. The more I understand the gospel and see how easy it is to do so, I become more upset and confused on how so many people reject the gospel and are so easily led astray down false paths of life. Life is hard, but living the gospel is not. When you come to understand the point of living and how you could ever sacrifice eternal life for something so temporal and short lived, I cry to God to have mercy upon those at judgement day for their sorrows will be great when the veil is lifted from their eyes. I can not wait to serve a mission, I can not wait to save souls and bring this happiness and strength I receive to others, I can not wait to work miracles in the lives of my fellow man. I can not wait to experience the joy of pure love and charity for others. I just pray to my God to lend me his strength so I can do so with all of my heart, mind, and strength.